10 TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

I met my husband online. Ours was a very long distance
relationship and by God’s grace we had a successful
courtship. We have been married for close to 5 years now to
the glory of God. So I thought to share some tips that helped
us during our long distance courtship, hopefully it can be of
help to you
1. Keep God at the centre of your relationship:
Even though you both can’t go to church together, you can still
share God’s word and pray together regularly. In fact, hubby
and I had a day set aside for fasting and praying every week!
We would pray concerning our future marriage, our children,
our goals, our lives. We knew without His help, we would not
make it through.
2. Communicate regularly:
Call your partner as many times as possible and convenient for
you both daily. If the time difference is a lot it could make a
huge impact on the relationship. In our case, there was about
11-12 hours difference! Despite this we would talk when I
wake up, when he is going to bed, when he wakes up and
when I’m going to bed! Lol! We just had to communicate
somehow.
3. Prioritize your relationship:
If the other person means a lot to you, the major way you can
let him or her know is by spending time with them despite your
busy schedule. I was so busy in medical school and my
husband was busy with his PhD but we had to create time to
invest in our relationship so as to make it work! It won’t work
automatically; you need to invest your time!
4. Maximise technology:
Use video calls as often as possible, they give you the feeling
of being with your partner. Text back and forth too regularly!
Oh, we would chat for hours! Keep in touch! Talk about your
visions, your likes, your dislikes, your expectations, your
strengths, your weaknesses, your future, talk about everything.
Also, using this medium, do things you both enjoy e.g. sing
together, review books, movies, play games, etc.
5. Listen with your head and your heart!
If you are going to marry this person, you need to pay
attention to everything the person is saying. Ask questions,
don’t just gist about irrelevant things. Do the answers match
up all the time? Is your partner being sincere with you? If you
are in doubt, speak up! You’ve also got to be sure your values
and beliefs are compatible.
6. Keep in touch with your partner’s family:
You cannot be in a secret long distant relationship! Know his/
her parents, siblings and close friends. Speak with them often
and visit them if possible. Ask to speak to his/her friends,
roommates, church members, pastor and pastor’s wives or
leaders in his/her church. This is for your own security, it
makes your partner more committed to the relationship, and it
makes you known in his/her circle of friends and family.
Again, don’t be in a secret relationship for your own good!
7. You can be romantic in a long distant relationship!
Hubby and I used to send each other gifts across the oceans!
It used to take about 6 weeks for my gift to be delivered but I
would send him just in time for his birthday, valentine and
Christmas every single year! Same with him, we surprised each
other with gifts too sometimes. I remember a Valentine’s Day
hubby planned a surprise with a gift company and got all sorts
delivered to my room in Uni! Oh! I would never forget! Even
though he was absent, it felt as if he was present! Spark up
your long distant relationship!
8. Visiting as often as possible is advised:
Both of you should plan to do this. It’s always amazing to see
the one you love in flesh and blood! It strengthens the
relationship. For cross-country long distant relationships, this
may not happen as often as you want but cherish whenever
you can make it happen.
9. Trust is very vital:
If you don’t trust your partner, it would be difficult to be in that
relationship! Hubby and I promised to share everything with
each other even our wrongs! We promised we were not going
to hide anything from each other and despite the distance, I
could tell where he was every single time and same with him.
This built trust between us.
10. Plan your future together:
Discuss and decide who will move or where you both are
going to settle down. This could be very delicate as it comes
with a lot of sacrifice for the person who will be moving but
you’ve got to talk about it regularly to be sure it’s what you
want in life and you both are on the same page!